


One Lump or Two?

by siltscribe



Category: Rover Red: Alone in Apocalypse (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-31 00:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12120591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siltscribe/pseuds/siltscribe
Summary: At his wife's suggestion, Lieutenant Slade sits down for a tea party with his kids.What could go wrong?





	One Lump or Two?

**Author's Note:**

> Some housekeeping stuff..
> 
> I was impatient and started these stories before we knew much about War, or Slade's family. Including his wife's name. So for the sake of making things as least confusing as possible- I'm going to retcon it and use the characters canon name. I'll go back and change it in the other stories soon. 
> 
> Also on that note? We still know very little about War. So uh, I'll be winging it sometimes, and can't promise all the details are going to be completely canonically correct. But. Will try my best.

"Hmm.” 

Tina chewed the inside of her cheek, and tilted her head from side to side, examining the table before her. She held a small teacup in her hands, and had spent the last twenty minutes agonizing over its placement. 

She'd insisted on setting the table herself, just to make sure each piece was in the right place. After all, it would be really hard to throw parties when she was older if she didn't learn how now, wouldn't it? 

Finally deciding on a place, she set the small cup down, frowning. Honestly, she was still a little irritated that her sisters hasn't wanted to help. Neither her sisters nor her mother had wanted to play Beast, no matter how much she'd begged. She shook her head, still not completely sure why. It was supposed to be an honor to be a Beast. Everyone knew that. I mean, if you did a good job you could even be a noble someday. 

Shaking the thought away, she smoothed her hands over the tablecloth, and looked the table over one more time. Cups, napkins, plates, sugar. Everything they needed for a proper tea party. Her mom hadn't let her decorate- she'd said the decorations weren't as nearly as important than the people. And, she'd pointed out, they didn't have the time to decorate- Dad was leaving on a trip the next day. 

“Did you forget something?” Her mother's voice startled her, jerking her from her thoughts. 

Tina spun around, one hand to her makeshift wig, keeping it from slipping off her head. 

“Moooom!” The little girl whined, annoyed that her mother thought she couldn't handle setting the table.  
Hadn't she just checked? She rolled her eyes, and made an exaggerated gesture at the perfectly set table. 

A smile on her face, her mother raised her right hand, which was holding a pitcher with a delicate blue pattern scrawling over it- a direct inverse of the blue cups with the floral pattern that Tina had spent the last hour placing on the table. 

“....oh.” The little girl dipped her head, and gave her mother a sheepish grin. 

“Oh.” Smiling, Palana straightened Tina's wig, and motioned towards the room she'd came from. “The cookies are in there. Mind grabbing them really quick, Miss?” 

The girl giggled, and flounced away. Palana poured some of the diluted amaretto mixture in each cup before setting the pitcher in the middle of all four place settings. It wasn't the fanciest drink- but the alcohol helped ensure the water was safe to drink, and the almond taste was pleasant enough. 

She'd wanted the kids to spend the day with their father, and naturally, Tina had been quick to suggest a fancy party. Like the Nobles have. She wasn't sure where her daughter kept hearing all the things she kept spouting about Famine nobility, but she was grateful little seemed to be completely accurate. The wanting to dress like a noble- or, as close as they could muster with what they had- and putting on fanciful parties wasn't too bad. At times, it was endearing, even.  
But plenty of Famine culture was less than desirable. She'd threatened her husband on more than one occasion, that if he told the kids too much about Famine activities, she'd be sure to import his meals directly from the province. After that, he'd chosen his words very carefully when the kids started in with the questions. 

“Momma! I got the cookies!” Tina bounced back into the room with an overflowing tray of some simple cookies they'd baked yesterday, and a fifth small cup. She handed the cookies to her mother, and set the extra cup on the table. “For Bitty,” she said simply. 

Palana set the cookies on the table, eyeing her child. “Oh? Will Bitty be sitting at the table too?” 

“Yes.” Tina answered quickly, holding her hands behind her back, looking at her mom imploringly. Palana raised an eyebrow, and waited. Tina rocked back on her heels, and tried again. “...nooo?” 

Palana grinned, cupping her child's chin in one hand. “I didn't think so.” She took the cup from the table - checking to be sure it only contained water, and set it against the wall. 

As if on cue, Ata strolled in, wearing slightly too large “Rover” boots, and carrying a small calico cat. She scowled seeing the cup on the floor, and hugged the small cat close. “Hey! Why’s Bitty have to sit on the floor?” 

Slade followed, Haley in tow, arms wrapped around his neck, and her feet hanging down his back. “Because your sister made the mistake of putting the cup on the table _after_ Mom left. Kneeling down, he waited until Haley had her feet firmly on the ground, then stood back up, grinning at Palana.

“Mhm.” She rolled her eyes and swatted at him, but didn't seem too bothered. “Tell you what. When Bitty can drink from a cup without looking like she bathed in it, she can eat at the table. Deal?” 

The girls mumbled an agreement, and she wondered if she'd eventually regret offering that deal. 

She kissed each one of them before she left, taking care to ensure the cat was indeed drinking her water safely on the floor, and not smuggled inside Ata’s shirt. Satisfied, she left the house, saying a silent prayer it would still be standing when she returned. 

The three girls sat with their father around the small table, and took turns passing the cookies and tea pot around. They talked about a little bit of everything; what they'd done that day, their favorite cookie flavors, everything they could think of besides the fact that he was leaving the next day. 

The girls couldn't quite grasp the concept, they were so young. They knew he was taking a trip, but didn't understand exactly what he was undertaking, or how long he'd be gone. Both of their parents had explained that the Rover Fortress wasn't a safe place for kids, and that their dad would come back home as soon as he could. 

Satisfied that everyone had a cookie, Tina plopped some sugar into her drink, passing it to Ata, who was sitting on her left. 

Ata, who had her feet propped up on the table next to her cup, made a face. “Ew. No.” A look from her father prompted her to tack a “thank you” on the end, before sliding the sugar across the table to him. “Haley may like it, but I don't. It's better without.” As if to prove her point, she grabbed her cup, and drank deeply from it. 

“A. ta.” Tina said, clipping the syllables short, lifting her tea cup. She wiggled the pinkie on that hand, giving her sister the most condescending look she could muster. “ _Ladies_ drink tea with their pinkies out.” 

Ata shrugged, unbothered, and continued to hold her cup with both hands wrapped around it. “Well I'm not a lady. I'm a Rover.” Beaming, she stole a glance across the table at her father, who winked at her before sipping from his own cup.

Her sister shook her head, a sad look on her face. “Rovers aren't anything more than ignorant silt dwellers.” 

Everyone froze. Slade nearly choked on his drink. That was the last thing he'd expected to come out of her mouth. 

Haley gasped, but her eyes lit up as they darted around the table. 

Ata let her cup fall to the plate, sending some of the amaretto over the side of the cup. _”What?”_

Tina just sat there, looking like she didn't understand why her sister was so upset. Raising her voice slightly, she repeated. “I said, Rovers are--” 

Slade clapped his hand over his daughter's mouth, before she could repeat herself. “No, I, uh.. I'm pretty sure she heard you the first time.” 

Tina shook her head side to side until he  
moved his hand, speaking quickly.  
“No she didn't, Dad. She asked me what I said. It'd be rude if I didn't repeat it!” 

Ata removed her feet from the table and banged her fists against the table. “Did not! I hear fine. You take it back!” 

Tina waved her arms, a pained expression on her face. “I can't, Ata! It's really what they say!! Rovers are _awful_ and no one likes them!

Haley glanced from one sister to the other, eyes wide. Slade patted her knee, in an attempt to be reassuring. He didn't think this would be much more than a squabble. I mean, they were just little girls. How much damage could they do? She grinned up at him, and took another cookie off the tray, holding it out to him as if to offer him half. 

He reached out, ready to break it wishbone style, but never got the chance. Something small shot through the air between his shoulder and Tina, and hit the wall, shattering. 

Slade reacted instinctively, covering Haley’s head, before he could process what had happened. “What the _silt_ was that?!” Slade yelled, but neither girl paid attention. Truth be told, he doubted they had heard him over their own shrieks. So much for a peaceful party... 

“Ataaaa!” Tina wailed, “That was my _fine china_ and you BROKE it!!”

“Liar! That's _Mom’s_ fine china!!” Ata rolled her eyes, and made a face across the table. 

“I don't care _whose_ it was-- it’s _my_ party…. and you STILL BROKE IT.” Tina crossed her arms over her chest, sticking her nose in the air. 

“Yeah? WELL I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FACE, IF YOU DON'T TAKE IT BACK” Ata shoved her plate to the side, not flinching when it crashed to the floor as she climbed onto the table. Crawling over so she was eye to eye with Tina, she shoved her sister’s plate onto the floor as well. 

“NO YOU CAN’T. YOU CAN'T HIT MY HEAD! MOM SAYS SO!”

“Well MOM ISN’T HERE AND YOUR FACE ISN’T YOUR HEAD SO THERE!” 

Haley made a face, and turned to her dad. “Yes it is. That's dumb. Of course your face is on your head.” Slade shook his head, not taking his eyes off of the other two children. This wasn't going well, and it looked like he was going to have to be the one to end it. And conflict resolution wasn't exactly his strong suit. Palana was so much better at this aspect of parenting. “Yeah, Scout, I know. But, it's not worth it. Trust me.” 

The two girls were shrieking at each other at the top of their lungs now. Tina, still seated, had flung her hands over face, now red from all the shrieking. The wig she liked to pretend was a Famine Noble’s wig tilted precariously to one side, soggy from what had been left in Ata’s cup.

Thankfully, the cup itself hadn’t hit her, but instead had crashed against the wall, splintering into several smaller pieces. Ata was standing on the table now, her little face balled into fists. 

“Take. It. Back,” she demanded, through clenched teeth. 

Tina choked on a sob, and shook her head no. 

The younger girl stomped her way back across the table, rattling all the dishes as she did. Leaping off the table, she yelled something no one was able to make out before scooping up the cat, and storming off. 

“Son of a silteater,” Slade mumbled under his breath. Hayley leaned against his side, gently patting his leg. “Here,” she whispered, placing a cookie on his thigh, before busying herself arranging her own cookies. 

He took the cookie, and immediately popped it in his mouth, grateful for the chance to put off talking to his kid. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He'd never seen Ata so angry, and while Tina definitely had a habit of speaking without thinking, she'd never said anything quite that.. _mean._ He took a few moments to gather himself before speaking. After all, these were his kids. Not those idiots on the Council, or some naive Rovers in the field. He couldn't just start yelling and expect everyone to fall in line.

“You… you know I'm a Rover, right, Tina?”

The little girl peered back at him through her fingers. “Daddy. It's a _game._ ” He could barely make out the mumbled words. “They really do think that, Dad. I'm not lying. Why am I in tro-” 

He interrupted her, speaking a little more brusquely than necessary. “Well. It's not a game to Ata.” Leaning over, he pulled her hands off of her face. “Go apologize.” 

Tina thought, and then shook her head, jutting her chin out. “No.” 

“Tina…” His voice wavered, as he tried to keep himself from coming unglued. He knew she wasn't being difficult on purpose; she sometimes had difficulty reading other people. She often mistook irritation for anger, and more than a few times had pushed a game too far, not realizing the person playing with her had had enough. 

The two stared each other down for a few awkward moments, and right before he was about to cave and yet another approach, she snapped.

“Ahh!” she yelled, struggling with her wig for a bit before managing to tear it off her head, and throw it on the table. “It's not fair. It's a _game_. I didn't mean it, and--”

“That's **it!** Slade pushed back from the table. Both girls jumped, clearly not expecting the outburst. He turned towards his eldest daughter, and pointed his finger at her. “I have had enough. You are not a noble. Ata isn't a Rover, but I… I'm your father, and I'm still in charge. This was supposed to be a _nice_ dinner before I left tomorrow, and you two had to go and mess it up. Now, you're going to go apologize, before your mother gets home.”

Tina stared back at him, looking struck. Sniffling, she pushed back from the table, knocking her chair over. She made an irritated scream, and stomped away, tripping over her upturned chair as she did. 

Slade back sank in his chair, letting his head fall into his hands. To say this hasn't hadn't gone well, would be an understatement. Dishes were broken, two out of three of his children were furious, and the room smelled slightly of almonds. Which, would be hard to get rid of before Palana returned. 

“Scuse me.” 

He raised his head, and glanced over his hands at Haley. He'd _almost_ forgotten she was there. And yet, there she was, humming to herself, and swinging her legs back and forth. “Yeah?”

“Can I have sugar, please?” 

Nonplussed, he handed her the small jar, and watched her as she put several small lumps of sugar into her cup, swirling the small spoon through it. 

“Hey, Scout?” 

“Can you do me a favor? Let's not tell Mommy about your sisters storming out, okay?” 

Haley thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Okay. Can… I tell Blue?” 

Slade nodded, taking another cookie off of the plate. “Uh, sure. That's fine.” He wasn't sure when her imaginary friend had come along, but it certainly wouldn't hurt anything if she told him. 

She nodded again, scooting the sugar back towards him. “It's good. Try it.” 

He shrugged, spooning some sugar into his drink. Glancing around the room, he shook his head. Cleanup was not going to be fun. But he'd deal with that when he got there. He grinned at Haley, stirring an extra lump of sugar into his amaretto before propping his feet up on the table. For the moment, he was content to enjoy the shambles of the tea party with the only one of his kids that was speaking to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just gonna leave this here: http://roverredpodcast.tumblr.com/post/157584000867/what-do-the-nobles-nobles-of-the-different


End file.
